Another entry of gracesoh.wordpress.com diary
Dear diary,
I wish i can tell you that my week had been filled with a fabulous whirlwind of new experience, and i am as well as looking forward to the future SIP days.
But, that is so not true. In fact, the most interesting that happened during this week was seeing the solution of lithium chloride and magnesium oxide form to a semi-solid cake when beaker B’s content are mixed with it. And interestingly, the most adrenaline rushing time i had so far was when i held Cindy’s PSP in my hands, zooming through a virtual car race in a sleek BMW.
The most significant and logical thing that i learnt so far is that it’s cool having much to slack about. But when there is too much time to slack, that totally becomes uncool.
It becomes even more uncool when you are expected to do things that you don’t even understand, aimlessly following directions. And when you try to clear your doubts, you can’t. Because whatever i am dealing with are suppose top secret and highly confidential. So it’s just shut up and do your work. Full-stop.
Diary, I wish my internship would be so much more interesting. I mean, if given a internship which is mega-ly interesting and a constant source of new experience, i totally won’t mind giving up the $600 allowance that everyone has, I also don’t mind traveling all the way to the other side of Singapore early in the wee time of the dawn. I seriously won’t mind giving up all that just to be in a reputable company with nice supervisors who are eager to impart valuable knowledge to me.
Unfortunately, the seniors around here are only eager to impart to me that they have successfully scored distinction for their major project(!!!!) while my supervisor, Mr Kenneth Tang, tells me realistically that for mine, it’s totally impossible.
*pulls hairs out*
He then giggly assure me that we could reasonably aim for a B+.
B+!!!! WHAT’S A B+ COMPARED TO DISTINCTION!!! LIKE HELLOoO!!! I TOTALLY NEED THAT FRIGGIN DISTINCTION!!!!
He(Mr Kenneth Tang) also added that for research projects, distinction is like way more possible. That, highlighted to my brain registration that mine is obviously not in research range.
After that, I felt absolutely so “cool” about in-house now.
Sure, there is a whole load of time to slack all i want and squash my little ventation into black ball, whacking it aggressively against the wall.
But as much as i like playing squash, squashing everyday is so… boring. And the thought of being enchained to this torturous boredom for the rest of the semester practically gives me nightmares.
I think i am starting to cry.
I feel such a cow to not come in terms with in-housing even though a week has passed. But at the same time, the thought that i am letting a huge opportunity to learn a huge colossal amount of enriching experience at some reputable company is so vexing. That, and the allowance part.
Sometimes, in the midst of helping a lecturer do his project, i wonder am i doing the school a favor, or is the school giving me a favor.
Am i allowing myself to be exploited to do cheap old labour, or am i owing the school a thanks for giving me chance to toy around with their boring old laoya equipment.
And i didn’t even get a chance to holler loudly at the intercom for help in my distinction-assured major project!!! Taking note that it isn’t even distinction to be expected.
Furthermore, with the lecturers lecherously snatching up me and Joanna to help them with their projects, slacking is like so not in the dictionary anymore. It’s now more like busy with boring routines.
I am seriously dreading Monday!!!! God! I hate routine and consistent boredom!!!
This pathetic situation of mine just strengthens that God, almighty savior, does not exist. Either that, or he is having a comfortable tickle in the bone to see me suffer. I can imagine him saying “Grace, it’s just too bad. Ho ho ho!!!”
Hang on wait, “hohoh” is Santa isn’t it?
Whatever.
Grrrr….Think positive grace. Otherwise, you will be stuck with a un-contented growly old face all the way.
Continue pouring those milky anonymous solutions and gain no knowledge. Continue being such a sweetiepie and willingly help out all their lecturers with their projects (aka DRP)
NOT!!!!!!
BAH! I AM IN A FOUL MOOD NOW.
